I think it is worth remembering that one of our goals in life should be to discover who we are and then live authentically. I also believe, it’s equally important to avoid falling into the trap of striving for perfection and instead learning to accept our imperfections. It seems we often lose track of these dual aspirations and when we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, discovering, loving and learning, then to be imperfect is actually a prerequisite. I have always felt that life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for experiencing life as it is and accepting our imperfections as they are.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting that we shouldn’t strive to be our best selves. I am simply suggesting that we accept the truth that there is no such thing as sustainable perfection. Consider that all living things are in a ceaseless state of movement and change. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. In fact, your life changes more than it stays the same. However, I also understand that perfection may serendipitously happen in a moment, often with no advance notice. Perhaps you have experienced a perfect sunset or the perfect meal or scored a hole in one, but this sort of perfection will not last, because it is a subjective and impermanent state. So in those wonderfully beautiful but fleeting moments, when something feels perfect, it’s best to simply be fully present and enjoy the moment, because trying to hold on to perfection or forcing it to happen usually causes frustration and unhappiness.
In spite of these seemingly straightforward observations, many of us still fall into the habit of trying to be perfect. I have found that one way to nudge ourselves out of this tendency, is to step out of our ego, examine our lives and realize that no one is judging us to see whether or not we are perfect. Sometimes, perfectionism is a holdover from our childhood, maybe an ideal we inherited from a demanding parent or mentor. In that case, you might consider that as free willed adults we can choose to let go of the need to perform for someone else’s approval… and further, we can choose to experience the world as a place where we are free to be imperfect. I understand this may be easier said than done; however I urge you now as I have in the past, to give it a try. Simply try letting go of the need to be perfect for a week or even a day and notice how it feels. I think you will discover that once you try this, you may begin to take yourself and the opinions of others less seriously and in the process have more fun.
Remember, imperfection is inherent to being human, and by embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself.
What do you think?
Bruce -
WOW, this is a life-saving BOOSTER shot for those afflicted with the I will never be perfect syndrome.
Your article has given tremendous hope and insight on the subject.
Oh if only much of what you wrote could be taught to the elementary, middle and high school students. So many kids have to suffer through their parents demand for nothing less than PERFECTION; or their own mis-conception of perfection.
Again, BRAVO for putting your thoughts in print so the rest of us can benefit from them.