Waiting For Someday…

One thing I learned during my bout with cancer is that the time we are blessed with is limited and tends to be used up all too quickly. Consequently, how we utilize that time is one of the most important decisions we make. Yet it still seems far too easy to put off until tomorrow what we are dreaming of today. The fast and sometimes chaotic pace of existence today often affords us an easy out; we tend to shelve our aspirations so we can cope more effectively with the challenges of the present… ostensibly to have more time and leisure to realize our purpose in the future. Or we tell ourselves that we will chase our dreams someday once we have accomplished our more immediate goals. However, in truth it is most often our fear that keeps us from seeking fulfillment in the here and now and because we view failure as a possibility, our reasons for delaying our inevitable success seem sound and rational. But if we ask ourselves what we are really waiting for, we discover that there is really no truly compelling reason why we should put off the pursuit of any of the dreams that sustain us.

When regarded as a question, “Why not now?” tends to drain us of our power to realize our ambitions. We are so concerned with the notion that we are somehow undeserving of happiness that we cannot see that there is much we can do in the present to begin pursuing it. On the other hand, if we look decisively at our state today and consider, “Why not now, indeed!” we are empowered to begin changing our lives this very moment. Many of us, me included, procrastinate for many reasons, from a perceived lack of time to a legitimate lack of self-belief, but the truth of the matter is that there is no time like the present and no time but the present. Whatever we aim to accomplish, we will achieve more quickly and with a greater degree of efficiency, when we seize the day and make the most of the resources we have at our disposal already.

I truly believe that all the joy, passion, and contentment you can envision can be yours right now, rather than at some undetermined far off point in time. Just remind yourself that there is nothing standing between you and your personal fulfillment…. and if you decide that today is the day for you to take your destiny into your hands, you will soon discover that you already hold the keys of fate.

Choosing Happiness…

All of our lives are rich with potential sources of happiness, but we can easily become victims of negative thinking if we are not paying attention. This can happen for many reasons… maybe we believe that by focusing on all that has going wrong will provide us with the motivation we need to face the next challenge, or maybe we are surrounded by negative people and we just want to be negative because it is a way to fit in. In any case I think its important to notice that these are choices… and I also believe that if we choose to focus on what brings us joy and allow what makes us happy to rise to the surface, a shift occurs in the fabric of our existence. Finding something to be happy about every single day can help this shift take place and allow the vantage points from which we view the world to come into into balance, and we can see that being alive truly is a gift.

If you really take the time to consider your day or week, there is always something we can be happy about, it is simply up to us to identify it. On one day, we may find happiness in a momentous, life-changing event such as a marriage or the birth of a child…. on another day, the happiness we experience may simply rise up from our appreciation of a particularly well-brewed cup of a coffee or the way the sun shines on a leaf. However, if you discover that you simply cannot call to mind a single joyful element of existence, you should examine the cause of the blockage standing between yourself and experiencing happiness. For me writing is a great way to consider and catalog the happiness unfolding all around. I have found that writing about the emotions experienced while contemplating joy can reveal the myriad of opportunities that exist in our lives for joy to manifest itself… and conversely, if you are having trouble experiencing joy, writing can also reveal insights into the factors compelling you to resist happiness. The important thing is to take the time to notice and consider the happiness around you, then simply let it in and allow yourself to be present with it.

I also understand that happiness may not always come easily into your life, or you may feel unsure about how to recognize it or uneasy about enjoying it. In fact many of us have been conditioned to believe that the proper response to unmet expectations is one of sadness, anger or fear… and the proper response to happiness is guilt or doubt. However, I believe to make joy a fixture in your life, you must first believe that it is within your power to choose happiness over unhappiness every single day and then learn accept it with an open heart. When you do this, you will see that each time you discover some new source of happiness; the revelation that the world is largely a happy place and life is a gift will find its way more deeply into your being. Go ahead try it… on this day, find one thing to be happy about and let it fill your heart and then notice how it makes you feel.

Embracing Imperfection…

I think it is worth remembering that one of our goals in life should be to discover who we are and then live authentically. I also believe, it’s equally important to avoid falling into the trap of striving for perfection and instead learning to accept our imperfections. It seems we often lose track of these dual aspirations and when we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, discovering, loving and learning, then to be imperfect is actually a prerequisite. I have always felt that life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for experiencing life as it is and accepting our imperfections as they are.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting that we shouldn’t strive to be our best selves. I am simply suggesting that we accept the truth that there is no such thing as sustainable perfection. Consider that all living things are in a ceaseless state of movement and change. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. In fact, your life changes more than it stays the same. However, I also understand that perfection may serendipitously happen in a moment, often with no advance notice. Perhaps you have experienced a perfect sunset or the perfect meal or scored a hole in one, but this sort of perfection will not last, because it is a subjective and impermanent state. So in those wonderfully beautiful but fleeting moments, when something feels perfect, it’s best to simply be fully present and enjoy the moment, because trying to hold on to perfection or forcing it to happen usually causes frustration and unhappiness.

In spite of these seemingly straightforward observations, many of us still fall into the habit of trying to be perfect. I have found that one way to nudge ourselves out of this tendency, is to step out of our ego, examine our lives and realize that no one is judging us to see whether or not we are perfect. Sometimes, perfectionism is a holdover from our childhood, maybe an ideal we inherited from a demanding parent or mentor. In that case, you might consider that as free willed adults we can choose to let go of the need to perform for someone else’s approval… and further, we can choose to experience the world as a place where we are free to be imperfect. I understand this may be easier said than done; however I urge you now as I have in the past, to give it a try. Simply try letting go of the need to be perfect for a week or even a day and notice how it feels. I think you will discover that once you try this, you may begin to take yourself  and the opinions of others less seriously and in the process have more fun.

Remember, imperfection is inherent to being human, and by embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself.

What do you think?

Check The Meaning…

Have you ever experienced the surprising feelings left behind by a strangely meaningful coincidence? Often the situation itself is relatively insignificant, a book whose title you couldn’t remember falls off the bookstore shelf or an acquaintance who seems to enter your life again and again, but the message inherent in the coincidence may not be.

Synchronicity, or the unlikely conjunction of events, can be an eye-opening or even a life changing experience. Psychologist Carl Jung theorized that “synchronicities occur when universal forces were aligned with the experiences of an individual, leading to coincidences that appear to be more than just chance”. I believe that these incidents happen because everything is somehow innately connected and that these events are very often called forth and facilitated by our unconscious needs and desires. Jung is famous for saying “Nothing occurs randomly, rather, we naturally draw certain people, situations, and blessings to ourselves.”

In truth,  a synchronistic event such as a chance encounter can be positive, negative, or neutral, and feel deeply mysterious or commonplace and  some coincidences are obvious while others are not apparent until after careful reflection. For example, during a personal financial crisis, you always seem to find just enough money to get by… or a recurring dream prepares you for an eventual physical event. I have always felt that these synchronicities are not only very powerful messages that originate within our own consciousness, but also represent opportunities to learn about ourselves, our purpose and the world around us.

If you feel touched by multiple coincidences or intrigued by a single one, ask yourself why you may be attracting the people involved or the situations. On a deeper level it may be worth considering the question, is the event highlighting some aspect of your life, suggesting a particular course of action or calling you to consider making some larger change? Jung believed the soul whispers to us through synchronicity, calling us to attention. I believe this is true, and that seeking the meaning behind a synchronistic event may help you know yourself better, kick start your creativity, lead you down a new and exciting path or even highlight some future pitfalls to avoid. I also believe that it’s no coincidence that the most profound coincidences often occur at life’s biggest crossroads, stopping us in our tracks and leaving us to find the meaning within.

What is Uniquely Yours…

I believe that each of us has a unique genius that was bestowed upon us so we can do our part to make this world a better place. All of us have a role that we’re uniquely suited for, however for many people their unique talent or ability is hidden from their own sight, like a golden treasure buried under shifting sands and chaos of daily life.

Often, we spend a great deal of time dazzled and awed by the talents of others, so much so that we can easily overlook our own gifts. It may even be that our unique ability is something we view negatively. For example: you may find it difficult concentrating on any one subject for long; meanwhile, others are amazed by your ability to weave various ideas throughout your conversations together. Or, you might think of yourself as “frivolous,” when it’s quite possible that your uniquely charming approach to life casts a light of joy and inspiration that others can’t help but follow. I think it’s important for all of us to try and discover, or re-discover our own special gift and understand how we can best express it to the world. Consider simply asking others to name what they think your most overlooked talents or character traits are. Their answers may change your life… but even if they don’t, they just might reveal a previously hidden pattern that may lead you in a new direction on your path to discovering your specific genius.

I encourage you to explore the riches that are uniquely yours, and in the process you may also find yourself helping others discover and develop their own gifts. Acknowledge and appreciate the gifts you see in those around you… tell your neighbor that loves to garden how much her green thumb enlivens the whole block… thank your coworker for always greeting your days with a smile… or tell your close friends that their ability to listen makes your world a better place.

Go ahead, give it a try and you will see that when shared with others, your unique gifts are like golden rays of sunlit expression that can brighten the world around you with warm light and positive energy.

Taking a Deeper Look…

I am back after a break from writing my daily blog entries. No excuses, I just needed a break, but now that it has been a few days since my last post and it sure feels good to be writing again. To those of you have emailed me to let me know you missed the regular posts I thank you for your encouragement.

Today I was thinking about why many of us so often find ourselves chasing happiness as if it were a possession, something we can simply acquire piece by piece like a new wardrobe. Often, when we’re unhappy, we fall into the habit of thinking that, if only one or two specific things in our life would change, everything would be fine. We might focus on the fact that we need a new car, or a raise, or a change in our living situation. We dwell on this one thing and strategize, or complain, or daydream about what it would be like to have it. Meanwhile, underneath the surface, the real reason for our unhappiness can sit unrecognized and unaddressed. And yet, if we are able to locate and explore the underlying cause of our discontent, all the surface concerns have a way of working themselves out in the light of our realization.

On the other hand, maybe we really do  need a new car or  maybe moving to another city would improve our life situation. However, if you think about it, most of the time it can only help to take some time to explore what’s going on at a deeper level. Sometimes, when we take a moment and stop focusing on external concerns, we can get to the heart of our discontent. In doing so we might realize that all our lives we’ve been dissatisfied, grasping at one thing after another, only to be dissatisfied about something else once we get what we want. I remember as a child being told that I needed to slow down and learn to be satisfied with what I had instead of always chasing the next thing. Perhaps in slowing down you might notice a pattern of running away from a place, or a relationship, when things get too hard. You might then wonder why this keeps happening, and how you might work through the difficulty rather than just escaping it. The point is, slowing down and turning our attention within can save us a lot of wasted energy in the long run, because it is very often the case that there is no external change that will make us happy.

Once you’ve taken the time to slow and inquire within, you can begin to make changes that address deeper issues. Granted, this can be very hard at first, especially if you’ve grown used to grasping for outside sources in order to quell your discontent… but in the end, I believe you may solve some lifelong problems at a deeper level, and they probably will be much less likely to recur.

Those Three Words…

For many people, there are three words that evoke great fear, stress and devastation: “You have cancer”

I have been asked many times by people I know and some I barely know, to talk and write about my cancer diagnosis, the treatment and my recovery experiences. As you can imagine the whole experience has been life changing, but probably not in the way you would guess. I have decided not to write directly about the details, the physical challenges and the many emotional ups and downs, because much of it is very personal; rather I have chosen to write about (on this blog) some of the lessons I have learned. However, the main reason I have chosen to keep the details of my experience private, is because I have come to accept the pain that my cancer caused as powerful steps along my path, realizing now, that having cancer was one of the best things that has ever happened to me!

I realize this may sound strange, and receiving a diagnosis of cancer is a difficult and life altering to say the least… yet for me the soul curricula and life lessons that have unfolded with the process of my cancer recovery have not only made me a stronger person but have inspired me to seek and embrace new ways of moving through life and have allowed me to achieve greater states of personal and spiritual growth. But perhaps most importantly, by facing the uncertainty of a cancer diagnosis, I have now come to place of acceptance and peace with who I am. For all of those things I am truly grateful.

My advice to anyone who has asked… is to live each day, have compassion for and learn to forgive those you love and never, never lose hope!

Here are few other posts on living each day, forgiveness and hope.

Right Here, Right Now…

The Forgiveness Perspective…

Growing Through Difficult Times…

I welcome your comments and offer my sincere thanks to all of you who have supported me and asked me about my cancer experience.

Inspiring Creativity…

Having just posted some of my creative works to this blog (see tabs above) I thought I would end the week by writing about inspiration, the creative process and risk taking. So even if you find my paintings and photography uninteresting, my hope is that you may just find them inspiring enough to re-awaken your own creativity!

Discovering your muse!

Nearly all creative endeavors are related to the muses that inspire us. The ancient Greeks believed that all creation, whether artistic or scientific, was motivated by goddesses who served as the embodiment of inspiration, these were the Muses, the givers of the creative spark. We still rely on muses to drive the creative process, though ours may take a diverse range of forms. People we meet, intriguing ideas, movies, books, nature, big life changes and cultural ideals all have the potential to awaken our imaginative minds… and when we are touched by our muses, we understand that we are capable of fulfilling our own innate drive to create and producing our own unique kind of greatness.

Many of us move through life unaware of the presence of our muse’s. This lack of awareness is often compounded by the fact that we may have one muse that remains with us throughout our lives, several muses that come and go as necessary, or a single muse that touches us at specific moments. You will know that you have found your muse when you encounter a feeling that makes you feel courageous enough to broaden your range of creativity. The presence of this force has the power to erase your self-doubt and motivate you to give your thoughts and feelings form. However, should your muse continue to elude you, I have found that there are a few things you can take do increase your chances of falling under a muse’s inspired influence. If you surround yourself with people who support you, keep a pen and paper handy, remember to to be present and open wherever you are, practice good listening habits, immerse yourself in culture, and brainstorm frequently, you will no doubt reconnect with your own personal muse. 



Once you have identified your muse, you can embrace it by giving yourself over to the creative inspiration it provides… and no matter what you are moved to create, you will find that neither fear nor criticism can penetrate the joy that goes hand in hand with the act of taking an idea and turning it into something real and tangible… something the whole world can enjoy.

“Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, risk taking breaking rules, making mistakes and having fun.”

Mary Lou Cook

Your Inner Voice of Wisdom…

Have you noticed that if you want to speak to someone in a noisy, crowded room, the best thing to do is lean close and whisper? Yelling in an attempt to be louder than the room’s noise just adds to the chaos. Similarly, that quiet, small voice within each of us does not try to compete with the mental chatter on the surface of our minds, nor does it attempt to overpower the volume of the world outside. If we really want to hear it, no matter what is going on around us or even inside us, we can always pause, focus and tune in to that voice underneath. 



If you really think about it, the more insistent louder voices in our heads delivering messages that make us feel panicky or fearful, are in the best case “of questionable authority” and in the worst case “destructive”. They may be voices we have internalized from childhood or a bad experience, or even from our culture, so by definition they possess only half-truths. Their perceived urgency stems from their disconnectedness from the center of our being, and ironically it is their urgency that catches our attention. On the other hand, our other internal voice, the one that whispers reassurances that everything is fundamentally good, simply delivers its message with quiet confidence… and once we hear it, we know it speaks the truth. For me, once I have heard what this inner voice has to say, a powerful sense of calm settles over my entire state of being, and the loud voices and chaotic sounds that so often dominate our world, slowly fade into the background. 



Once you begin to take notice of your own inner voice of wisdom, you may also find that your outward communications in the world will begin to be influenced by the quiet certainty of your inner voice. You may be less inclined to indulge in idle chatter or negative gossip as you become more interested in maintaining your connection to the whisper of truth that broadcasts its message to you like the sound of the wind rustling through the leaves of a tree. In my life (especially recently), I have noticed that as we align ourselves more with this quiet confidence, we naturally become an extension of the whisper, allowing us to easily penetrate the noise of the world and create more peace, trust, compassion and confidence.

Personal Spirituality…

Throughout our trek from birth to death, many of us choose to question life, strive for improvement, seek happiness, seek knowledge, and search for answers. In its simplest form, this is the essence of personal spirituality. Your spiritual practice can take on many forms, because fully embracing it is a very personal journey. While a great many people relate their spirituality to a God, this quest always springs from within. At our core, we are all spiritual beings and the essence of that life affirming spirit lies in knowing your true self and finding the peace that comes from within, rather than from the outside world.

I don’t think it matters when or how you set out to awaken your own spirituality, what matters most is that you give yourself permission and take the time to discover to your own very personal path.

The spiritual path springs forth from daily routines that reaffirm our personal connection with our own purpose. Practicing compassion, gratitude, empathy, forgiveness, generosity and meditation are all important components of your spiritual life. If you are new to exploring your personal spirituality, remember that this is a process. Understanding and accepting the importance of spirituality can also be a healthy decision, because spiritual practices tend to include habits that promote healthy living.

Take the time to carefully determine the actions, thoughts, and habits that most speaks to your soul and remember that your most profound spiritual experiences often come from the simple and sometimes smallest things that make up your life.

A Clean Slate and Freedom from the Past…

Ever since human beings could speak to one another, they have been making promises and keeping them or breaking them. Those who keep their promises are regarded as people of integrity, while those who don’t keep their promises are regarded as people who at best can’t be taken seriously and at worst can’t be trusted. Sometimes we all forget how powerful our words are, and we use them carelessly, creating expectations that are never fulfilled, leaving disappointment and mistrust in our wake. 



On an even deeper level, there are promises we may have made to ourselves that we don’t remember because they have slipped into our unconscious. Without realizing it, we may not be fulfilling those self promises and wondering why our  life feels grim or scattered. In the process of reflection on our self-promises we may realize that we have made a promise we no longer wish to be beholden to… if so we can ask ourselves to be released from that bond. In doing so, we help clear ourselves of old connections and patterns, returning ourselves to a clean slate. Then we can resolve to remember that our word is sacred and to be very conscious of any promises we make to ourselves or to others. 



Asking to be released from promises we made to ourselves or others, consciously or unconsciously, can be very liberating. We may ask that healing energy be sent to anybody who have suffered from our inability to be true to our word, including ourselves. We can then ask for the wisdom to do our best and from this point forward to be true to our word, promising only what we truly intend to deliver. The resulting clear conscience and liberated energy will illustrate this truism: “We are only as good as our word… The truth will set you free!”

Setting Yourself Free…

I am unable to write today, I will be back on Monday… but I wanted to pass along a quote that I find meaningful. Have a great day!

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”

The Dalai Lama

Dissolving Stories and Fear…

I have been thinking a great deal about fear lately and it occurs to me that although we are physically in this world, we are often mentally or emotionally trapped in a world of stories. When we get attached to stories in our mind, we can very easily drift away from reality.  For me it’s through this drifting that fear surfaces. This seems to happen when my mind keeps building the stories, adding twists, turns and doubts, pulling me further away from reality…. and it seems the further away from reality I get, the stronger my fear grows.

A friend of mind told me that he feels is splintering, unable to maintain his “facade”, and he is now unsure if he is still in love with his fiancée. He says he is spending less time with her and unable to find time to plan for their wedding. In thinking about his situations and actions, I asked him how things would be if he were alone. He had trouble answering and trouble defining what his his fear really is about. It seemed to me he was caught in a circle of fear, worrying, second-guessing and becoming more and more fearful about getting married. Knowing him pretty well and at a bit of a loss I simply said “what you are doing is not how you are, or how you are meant to be and you should focus on your real fear… that she loves you more than you love her, and because you’re trying to keep it all together mentally, you may not be loving her as well as you should.” At first I felt I was grasping in my attempt to help him understand his true fear. Then it hit me… trying to maintain his image of sanity was taking more energy and ability than he had to give, leaving him none to be present. When I explained it to him this way he understood that he was manufacturing much of his fear and decided he just needed to stop his internal storytelling and simply focus on being more present.

Often we simply need to let go of what we are thinking is happening and what we expected to happen. We need to let go of our attachments and be with whatever is actually happening right now, in that moment. In truth, the actual is often better than our stories anyway… and when we let go of our stories, we allow ourselves to become more present and accepting of the actual.

When we become present, without doing or thinking anything, fear simply dissolves. and we can let go of our attachments, then we have no fear at all. In Zen text, it is said that this is Nirvana. Nirvana’s literal meaning is to extinguish… to put out the stories, and be present.

For me sitting meditation is a great tool for dissolving the stories. When we sit quietly and empty our minds leaving the stories behind, we don’t cling to them, nor do we add to them. We keep sitting, keep breathing, and consciously let the stories go… and soon enough the stories run out of energy and fade. Through meditation we can bridge the physical and mental gap and come back to reality, lighter and more alive.

Here is a related post you find interesting… Present Moment

People in Need…

When we encounter a person in need, we may want to give them something as a way of helping them, but if we give without taking the time to see who they really are, our gift is nowhere near as powerful as it could be. For example, may want to give a homeless person a spare five dollar bill, but if we give it without also taking a moment to look the person in the eye and connect with them, thereby making authentic contact, we short change them of the experience of being human. 

Being in a position of need often leaves people feeling vulnerable and full of self-doubt. For me, the greatest gift we can give is to meet people in need without judgment and with the awareness that we are not superior to them simply because we are not currently in their position. Additionally, if we take a longer view, we can see that we all began life in need of great of care and attention, and sadly many of us end life in the same way. Giving and receiving are similar energies that take turns throughout our lives. Lets not forget that we all get a chance to be on both sides of the exchange from time to time… an idea that takes on even more relevance in the time we live in today.

I think it’s also important to be aware of our own tendency to give from a desire to feel good about ourselves. Letting go of our self-importance allows us to see that, regardless of appearances, we are all givers and receivers. When we are in the position of the giver, we truly honor those we are helping when we remember the many people who have helped us. A concept I learned firsthand in 2008 as I battled cancer. Those who helped through surgery and chemotherapy literally saved my life, in ways they may never fully understand. They were in the truest sense my own cadre of angels.

A final thought on giving, this is something I read recently… “In honoring those we help, we can authentically look the person we are helping in the eye, fully aware that we are making contact with another person who is our equal”.

A related post you might like too… Being There.

Partnership On Purpose…

The purpose of partnership is to create something greater than we can create alone. Not because of any deficiency or incompleteness we may have, but because each of us has unique talents, abilities and energy. In partnership we can increase the efforts and talents available for creating something meaningful together, with the added bonus of sharing the experience with another person. All partnerships, whether romantic, creative, or professional, can be powerful catalysts for personal growth when entered into with forethought and consideration. 

It is critically important to choose our partnerships wisely and consciously. Timing is very important too, form a partnership too quickly and you may find yourself rushing into partnership with perhaps not the clearest intentions, on the other hand take too long to decide and the opportunity to form a union may have passed. Additionally, partnerships created during times of great need might serve our immediate goals, but the repercussions of a union quickly forged with little long-term consideration can be very difficult to recover from. Granted, there is always something to learn from every relationship, but seeking another to fix us or our situation can turn a partnership into a co-dependent bond. However, If we can stay clear about what we want and what we need in a partnership, while staying grounded and remembering that we are our own source of happiness and fulfillment… we can create partnerships that support and enhance the best of who we are. 

I have heard it said, “everyone in our lives is a mirror reflecting back the parts we love and dislike about ourselves”. If we have the courage to recognize our reflections in each other, we can grow through our partnerships. A partnership that offers both acceptance of who we are and an opportunity for personal growth can be fertile ground for growing a healthy, successful and lasting union. Also, when we find this kind of partnership, we are more likely to want to keep it, invest in it, and nurture it. 
For me, life has always been a collaborative effort and much of what I have done has been enhanced by partnership and many of the goals I have set for myself will be impossible to accomplish without good partnerships. Think about the partnerships you have formed in your life, both the good and the bad. What was the source of failure for the partnerships that didn’t work out, was it the wrong partner, bad timing or maybe misaligned goals. Also consider your partnerships that have worked well, the ones you cherish, was it circumstances, timing, luck or maybe a wisely chosen partner who complimented your skills and energy. In any case, with this reflection you may learn something important that will assist you the next time you have an opportunity to form a new partnership.

As a part of personal growth, I think it is important to learn how to form healthy partnerships in life… because in a good partnership our personal power is multiplied, and it is through partnership we experience the joys of working, living, and loving together.

A Beginners Mind…

Seeing the ocean for the first time, hearing a new song, or discovering a new food can all be adventures. We often approach a brand-new activity without excessive pre-judgment, thus allowing ourselves a fuller experience. The strategy behind Beginner’s Mind Philosophy, known in Japanese as Shoshin, is to bring that sense of eager anticipation to all of life’s experiences, whether they are new or well known.

However, beginner’s mind need not be limited only to those who practice Zen. For anyone who wants to enjoy life more fully, approaching everyday activities with an open mind can reveal their hidden delights. Beginner’s Mind stresses the importance of keeping one’s original attitude towards the experiences of life. In order to maintain real enthusiasm, even during the most mundane situations, it is important to be fully present and in the moment. Just try pausing and being still while breathing slowly for a few seconds, with no thought to how, or why, or for how long… then try to take this present moment awareness into everyday life, so that each experience has a sense of the fresh and new.

Beginner’s Mind may not be an easy philosophy to grasp or to practice right away… and it can be difficult to let go of long-held opinions and beliefs, but if you accept that every situation is new to you right now, you may find that you have fewer pre-conceived notions. There’s an old saying I like to think of, “When you’ve mastered being in the moment, all experiences are new ones”, so even if you’ve skied for twenty years, with a beginner’s mind, every run feels like the first.

Being There…

Sometimes it is difficult to see someone we care about struggling, in pain, or hurting. When this happens, we might feel like we need to be proactive and do something to ease their troubles. While others may want our help, it is important to keep in mind that in order to help, we need to be aware of what they truly want and need in the moment without getting carried away and saying or doing more than is required. Lately I have found that allowing myself to let go of the need to “fix” the situation and simply be in the present moment with another person, may actually provide a greater amount of comfort and support than I could have ever imagined.

Maybe you can think back to a time when you were upset and needed a kind word or patient ear from someone else. As you remember these times, you might think of the gestures of kindness that were the most helpful. It may have been comforting words such as “I care about you” or simply “I understand” or even just the presence of someone simply being there and not expecting anything in return that were the most consoling. When we are able to go back and recall these times, it can become easier for us to keep in mind that giving advice or saying more than is really necessary is not always the best path. Often what is truly comforting for someone in need of support is not having us try to fix them or their problems, but to just be there for them…. and even though we may want to do more, we do not have to do anything other than this to be a good friend!  

Keeping things simple helps us give the part of ourselves, the part that is capable of the greatest amount of compassion, a pair of patient attentive ears and an empathetic heart.

Back to the Center…

I believe there is no such thing as a “good” person or a “bad” person. However, there are choices, actions and consequences that lead us in different directions, and it is through these choices and actions that we create our realities.

Sometimes we make choices to do things that take us in the opposite direction of the reality we want to create for ourselves… not surprisingly, when we do this, we feel bad – uneasy, unhappy and unsure. When we do this, we might go so far as to label ourselves “bad”.  Instead of labeling ourselves though, we could simply acknowledge that we made a choice that lead us down a particularly bad path, and then let it go… forgiving ourselves and preparing for our next opportunity to choose, and act, in ways that support the reality we desire for ourselves.

Many of us experienced childhoods in which the words good and bad were used as weapons to control us… you were good if you did what you were told and bad if you didn’t. This kind of discipline can undermine a person’s ability to find their own moral center and to trust and be guided by their own inner compass. If you were raised this way, like myself, you may find yourself feeling waves of badness when you do something you were taught was wrong, even if now as an adult you don’t agree that it’s bad. Conversely, you may feel good when you do what you learned was right. Notice how this puts you in a kind of straitjacket whose constraints are not determined by you. I believe that an important part of our spiritual journey requires that we grow beyond what we may have taken for granted as good and bad or right and wrong… and take responsibility for our own liberation on our own terms. Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean you need to abandon your entire value system, but rather I am suggesting that to label yourself good or bad based on someone else’s value system is to think too small.

In reality, as human beings, we are free willed decision-makers, and every moment in our lives provide us a new opportunity to move in the direction of our higher selves or in the direction of stagnation or degradation. But in the end, only you know the difference… and if you find yourself going into harsh self-judgment after making a decision that has caused you pain, simply stop yourself and bring your focus back to center. Know that you are not good or bad; you are simply you… with the capacity to live an ever evolving and completely fulfilling life no matter what your past decisions may have been.

 

Healing From Loss…

Its a deeply sad part of life, but loss happens to all of us and when it does, it can wash over us like a heavy gray rain. When experiencing a big loss, we often feel saturated with grief, and the overflow can spill into your physical body. Loss becomes a physical emptiness, and the longing is transformed into feelings that can rarely be put into words. Very often the pain that wounds us most deeply also leaves the most enduring mark upon us… and mending the heart can seem a task so monumental that we dare not attempt it for fear of inviting more pain. However the shock of loss that becomes a throbbing ache of the heart eventually leads us down the path of a new depth and richness. 



Simply acknowledging heartbreak’s impermanence by no means dulls its sting, but  in time we begin to understand, it is the sting itself that stimulates healing. The pain is letting us know that we need to pay attention to our emotions, to sit with our feelings and be in them fully before we can begin to heal.

It is said that time heals all wounds… and indeed time may dull the pain of a broken heart, but it is fully feeling your pain and acknowledging it that will truly help you heal. Someone close to me once said “Dealing with your heartache in a healthy way rather than putting it off for tomorrow is the key to repair and gentleness more than anything else is called for”. To go one step further, I think the most important thing is to slowly begin to open yourself to the possibility of loving, trusting, and believing again… and when someday you emerge from the grief of loss, you will emerge on the other side of the mending, stronger for all you have experienced.

Feeding The Flames…

Thankfully there are times in life when we are committed to pursuing our passions…. times when every molecule in our body is focused on doing what we love. At other times, necessity and responsibility dictate that we set our dreams aside. Sadly, it is during these moments that we may forget what it is that we love to do. There are many other reasons why we may leave our passions behind. A hobby may lose its appeal once we’ve realize it will never turn into our dream job, or someone important to us may tell us that our passions are childish or unrealistic. But forgetting about what you love to do can be a form of self-sabotage.

If you can forget about your dreams, then you never have to risk failure, however just because we’ve decided to ignore our passions doesn’t mean they no longer exist. Nothing can fill the emptiness that remains in a space vacated by a passion that we have tossed aside. Besides, life is too short to stop doing what you love, and it is never too late to rediscover your favorite things. If you gave up playing an instrument, painting, drawing, writing, spending time in nature, or any other activity or interest that you once loved to do, now may be the time to take up that passion again. If you don’t remember what it is that you used to be passionate about, you may want to think about the activities or interests that you used to love or the dreams that you always wished you could pursue.

Remember you don’t have to neglect your responsibilities to pursue your passions, and you don’t have to neglect your commitments to do what you love. When you make an effort to incorporate your interests into your life, the fire within you ignites… you feel excited, inspired, and fed by the flames that are sparked by living your life with passion for what you love.